Coaching with Angle Questions

In my job, I have the privilege of facilitating coaching workshops. It is not uncommon for someone to ask me at some point whether I can coach myself. The answer is yes, and no. Yes, because I know a coaching framework to think through as I consider an area I want to move forward in, and I know how to ask myself powerful questions to help me in the process. But also, no, because it is not unusual for me to get stuck in a rut in my thinking.

Much like a car that finds itself on the side of the road in a narrow, well-worn trench, I find myself stuck in a mental rut, a narrow pattern of thinking that has my mental wheels spinning, and I am not getting anywhere fast. It is not uncommon for me to find myself in a conversation with a friend or a coaching client who is in a similar situation, stuck in a mental rut.

The question is, how do we get out of these ruts?

We need help! When a car is stuck in a rut, a push or a tow from others can get it out and allow it to move forward. When a person is stuck in a mental rut, a gentle push or a tow can help them get their thinking out of it and see their situation from a new perspective.

Coaches are well-trained in asking powerful questions. When we find a person stuck in a mental rut, there is a certain type of question that can be extremely helpful — an angle question. An angle question is one that prompts the client to consider an issue from a totally different perspective than they have been accustomed to, outside their normal way of thinking.

It is as if they have all this information in their brains, with a tightly locked lid on it. When someone is stuck in a rut, they cannot find a way to unlock the lid. But when asked questions from various angles, the lid often pops open and a variety of new thinking and possibilities emerge. The person can suddenly look at a situation from a new perspective, gain new awareness, and make discoveries. Angle questions help a person find a way forward and make progress.

There are many angles one can consider. Here are a few potential angles with questions that can be asked:

• Family: How might this decision affect your family? What family dynamics come into play?
• Emotions: When you think about that course of action, what emotions arise within you? How are the emotions you are experiencing currently helping or hindering you?
• Finance: How will you pay for that? If money were not an issue, what would you do?
• Values: How does this align with your values? Which of your values will be honored or compromised if you go that way?
• Achievement: What would it look like if you achieved this? How would you define success in this area?
• Spiritual: How does this align with your spiritual beliefs? If you look at this through the lens of your spiritual beliefs, what solutions emerge?
• Cultural: What company cultural elements come into play? How might the cultural differences you are experiencing influence the solution?
• Intuition: What do you sense to be the right move? What is your intuition suggesting?
• Personality: What aspect of your personality might be affecting your thought process? Which path forward best aligns with your personality?
• Energy: Which options give you life? Which option drains you just to think about it?
• Future: What do you dream about? What have you always desired to do?

The number of angles is limitless. Listen to what the person you are coaching is sharing. Allow your questions to flow from what you hear. There is no “right” or “wrong” angle to use. Anything that takes a person’s thoughts in a new direction has the potential to pop open the lid and lead to ways out of the mental rut.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone who seems to be stuck in their thinking process, consider asking a question from an outside-the-box angle. If needed, ask another one. Watch their eyes light up as they suddenly gain new awareness and make discoveries.

What angle questions have you used?