{"id":1008,"date":"2016-03-23T09:38:32","date_gmt":"2016-03-23T09:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.teamleadertraining.org\/?p=742"},"modified":"2024-07-11T11:55:11","modified_gmt":"2024-07-11T15:55:11","slug":"listening-beyond-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/listening-beyond-words\/","title":{"rendered":"Listening Beyond Words"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u201cHow do I ask powerful questions?\u201d<\/strong> People ask this question frequently. I sense they hope I will provide a formula or, better yet, a list of questions to use when a coaching opportunity arises.<\/p>

This request presupposes the power of the question exists in its construction. In reality, a question\u2019s real power exists in how it relates to the person being coached (PBC) at the moment we are coaching. What is a powerful question one day may be far less potent on another day or with another person because it does not meet them in the present moment.<\/p>

To connect with the PBC in real-time, we must begin to master another skill: listening beyond\u00a0words<\/strong>. Asking powerful questions and listening beyond words go hand in hand. These are like two wings of an airplane – you need them both. Together they provide greater lift to your coaching. Jesus exemplified this. After searching for Jesus in Jerusalem, his parents found Him in the temple, listening and asking questions. (Luke 2:46)<\/p>

There are many skills we can learn and practice to become better listeners.\u00a0 In their book, Coaching for Christian Leaders<\/em>, Linda Miller\u00a0and Chad Hall offer three foundational practices that aid us in the art of listening:<\/p>

1. Stay present.<\/strong> We must learn to set aside all distractions that will divert our attention from the PBC. Some obvious culprits include email, text messages, our \u2018to-do\u2019 list, and the inner dialog running through our minds as we coach. Many people believe they can multitask, but research has shown that this is not possible when it comes to two activities involving words. Prove it to yourself. Try to write out your favorite Bible verse while singing your National Anthem. \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>

2. Stay focused.<\/strong> Concentrate on what the PBC is saying. Recognize when your mind has wandered and pull your attention back to the PBC. If you lose focus, try this technique. In your mind, say what the PBC is saying word for word. (You can practice this while watching TV or on the phone.) You do not do this for the entire coaching conversation but only long enough to refocus your attention on the PBC.<\/p>

3. Avoid self-referencing.<\/strong> To maintain our focus on the PBC, it is good to remove any referencing to ourselves. Do this by eliminating words like \u201cI\u201d and \u201cme.\u201d Instead of \u201cTell me more about that,\u201d try \u201cSay more about that.\u201d Instead of saying, \u201cI wonder what might motivate you,\u201d ask, \u201cWhat might motivate you?\u201d<\/p>

By learning to stay present, stay focused, and avoid self-referencing, we can better listen beyond words, noticing voice inflection, pace, tone of voice, and the energy of the PBC. These practices enable us to meet the PBC in the moment and ask powerful questions to help them propel forward.<\/p>

What tips\u00a0do you practice for powerful asking and listening? What can you apply from this post to your team conversations?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHow do I ask powerful questions?\u201d People ask this question frequently. I sense they hope I will provide a formula or, better yet, a list…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":24961,"featured_media":124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[33,421],"keyword":[],"class_list":["post-1008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-development","tag-coach","tag-team-leader"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/226\/2016\/01\/conversation-Collin-Key-via-Foter.com-_-CC-BY-NC-SA.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24961"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1008"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33256,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions\/33256"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1008"},{"taxonomy":"keyword","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ldhr.org\/ja\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/keyword?post=1008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}